Have you ever thought about becoming a better lover? Have you wondered how some guys are amazing in bed? I can tell you that nobody is born knowing how to please their partner, it’s something that’s learned over time.
Becoming a better lover requires commitment and time, here I will show you a few tricks to help you along. However, I will only be focusing on one aspect of sexuality, the hands.
Many men overlook fingering and many women do the same. But I’m here to tell you that your hands can provide an incredible amount of pleasure if you just know how to work them properly. But keep in mind that every woman out there has different likes and dislikes for how she likes to be touched.
There’s nary a woman that will let you just take her pants off and go to town, no matter how much she loves you. This isn’t always due to an emotional barrier but more of a ‘frictional’ one. There is an old saying that the brain is the body’s largest sex organ, and if you don’t get that going then her vagina won’t be ready either. And if her vagina’s not ready then too much friction could be very uncomfortable, even downright painful. So take your time, don’t be in a rush.
Before I show you some good techniques on how to finger a girlthere’s just one more point I’d like to bring up. Remember that there are no two women who have identical sexual preferences, they’re as varied as finger prints. It’s very important for a good sexual relationship to be open and communicate. Some women don’t enjoy much, if any, direct clitoral stimulation, on the opposite end there are women who can’t reach orgasm without it. Some women can reach orgasm through g-spot stimulation alone and some can’t and unfortunately there are women who will never get to experience an orgasm, no matter the situation.
The techniques below aren’t rules written in stone, instead they are guidelines and ideas, change them as necessary to fit her preferences.
1) The Classic
If you’ve ever fingered a woman then you’ve probably used this simple technique. But just because it is standard and easy doesn’t mean it’s not effective, in fact this is one that for most women is guaranteed to get the job done.
After you know she’s properly moist you take your index and middle fingers and work them in a circular motion around the clit. Make sure you let her know to keep you informed on her situation, some women love constant clitoral stimulation until climax but some love a bit more variety. She may want you to use those fingers and go inside her for a while before returning to her clit. Pay attention to her reactions and listen to what she has to say.
Don’t go too fast at first and always keep a good rhythm, breaking rhythm will interrupt her engagement in the moment and possibly prevent her from climaxing. Unless, of course, she wants you to, then by all means, do as she asks.
2) Two is Better Than One
This is a very strong technique but requires a bit more left/right hand coordination than most other techniques. You start by placing yourself between the girls legs while she is lying on her back or leaning back in a chair, you can also sit to one side or the other if that’s more suitable or more comfortable for you.
With one hand you move one or more fingers in a thrusting motion inside her vagina and with your other hand you rub your index and middle fingers in a circular motion around her clitoris. Rhythm is key here so to be able to more easily do this without losing your even tempo you might want to try starting with only one hand or the other and when you’re in the groove slowly add the second hand.
Even though each hand needs to keep its own rhythm, nobody says both hands need to follow the same beat. Make one hand fast and the other slow and mix it up a bit and ask her what she likes the best.
3) Take it up a Notch With Sex Toys
As great as the human fingers are, sometimes it’s nice to have a little extra variety, variety is the spice of life, you know.
One option is called a finger, or finger vibrator, and rightly so, this little toy is essentially a small extension to your own digits. However it does have something your fingers lack; nubs and ticklers. You just place these over your own fingers and go on with business as usual.
A different option is using a vibrator such as a bullet. You may know these as common sex toys that women use for masturbation, however they can be just as fun, if not more so, when used by a partner. You can even take the bullets up a level by adding a finger sex toy onto them!
My Final Word
There’s a lot of ways to pleasure your partner and a lot of ways for him/her to pleasure you! Don’t let yourself get caught in a rut, don’t limit yourself, don’t stop communicating, don’t stop practicing and it’s you that’ll be ‘that guy’ who’s a god in bed.
And don’t forget, some women don’t produce enough lube on their own and may need a little help through some water-based lubricant.